5 Stages of having guests.
Taking out Jahez ke bartan
Frantically running back and forth from the guest room to storage, making sure the guest room has everything up to date. Cleaning everything that comes my way; erasing any evidence of how messy the children make the house whilst giving my children crash courses about being the well mannered beings they clearly are not. Taking out the ‘mehmaanon ke bartan’ also known as ‘Stay the hell away from them!’ stocked up since Jahez times.
Tolerating Extended Invitations
Meeting Khala jan, the guest of the week, and failing to understand why she insists on being called ‘khala’ since she is only related to me through myhusband’s chahi ki nand ki behn ki beti. Turns out, she brought in her whole khandaan along for the stay, but no worries, the more the merrier. I always wanted to be proven the tameezdaar bahu in the family.
Saying ‘Make yourselves at home’
Two days have passed and everyone is still in a happy daze to be reunited, so much so that, words like ‘make yourselves at home’ have already tumbled out from my mouth. My husband has taken two steps further and has told his extended family “To consider our house as their house”
I have started to notice Aam ka achaar doesn’t particularly suit Sheela Bhabi since she spends way too much time in the washroom after eating it. I’m also not exactly happy to know Najmi Bhai’s son broke my dinner plate but bacha hai, yeh sub kuch tou chalta hai.
Guests : A nightmare
When I politely suggested them to make themselves at home, it was clearly a lie. The elderly aunty has started poking her nose around how the household should run and apparently the modern ways are all wrong. Bachon ka Complan/Needo is a scam, a money looting tactic. The right way of doing it is mixing two table spoons of haldi in milk.Uncle thinks farts in public can be easily hidden if you cough real loud after it, so much for the nasty smell.
Sheela bhabi’s son keeps crying all the time making me believe it is impossible to have few moments of peace especially after I come from the kitchen for rest after makingenough food for a small army.
When will they go?
I have started counting the days left for their departure, subtly dropping hints for the family to leave us alone. Noticing the excuse “My sister wanted to come and stay at my place” doesn’t exactly work since Khala Jan has grown ever so excited to meet her whilst she’s here.
Thankfully, Khala’s other relative called her back, reporting how she was missing the latest town gossips. Hearing she was needed made khala instantly pack all her bags up, and come up to me saying how I had been a wonderful host and because of it , she would visit next time along her whole family..